Ready. Set. Go!

Now that I am a full time mom, I have found that life is just as busy. I find myself multitasking much more now than when I was working. The trickiest thing I have discovered is I am constantly in a race to get things done. My day consists of taking care of Cooper first and foremost, but also cleaning, cooking, furthering my education through online tutorials and freelance work. However, with the list of tasks I would like to get done, I only have small bursts of time to complete them as it is all coordinated with Cooper's nap schedule.

Cooper does not nap a great deal and when he does it is generally for short periods of time. He does take one longer nap during the day and that is my only opportunity to fit everything in that I need to get done. As soon as the little guy closes his eyes I am off like a track runner in the 100 meter dash. So although I am home, I still have little or no free time.

Jimmy got a taste of my average day yesterday. I asked him to help me with Cooper so I could cook us dinner. I could see his stress level rise as he realized how demanding it really is. Cooper is a materialized lesson in slowing down. He reminds me of what is really important. He literally screams until I get it through my thick skull that nothing is more important. Not a clean house, a prepared meal or a new method in e-mail marketing should take priority. The single most important thing should be time with him and being a mommy. When I find myself scrambling I just pick him up and look at that little face. I realize how short and precious this time is with him. This reality makes me squeeze him tight and drop everything else.

Life's Curve Balls

With the purpose of this blog to document all our significant moments, I imagine there had to be some glum ones too. Friday, September 10th, I went into work to let everyone meet Cooper and touch base before I returned on the 20th. I quickly learned that I had lost my job. The company has been financially hurting since the beginning of the recession. Their main function is retail, and with people losing their jobs and struggling to feed themselves, gifts are last or nonexistent on the family budget. My employers had tried everything, but it looks like they might not make it. 

My initial reaction was pure fear. How was I going to take care of my family and provide? Would we lose our house? All the traditional "what ifs" trampled through my mind, numbing out the positives, leaving me with the worst. I had brought Cooper with me and as the tears flowed I looked down and caught him smiling in his sleep. I suddenly realized what really mattered.

Throughout my Maternity Leave I had been asking God to provide me with a way to stay home with my son. I investigated ways in which I could possibly leave my job and be home, or even work part time. I had surrendered to the idea that I was just going to have to go back and I needed to suck it up. After getting laid off it occurred to me that this was God answering my prayer. My fear was instantly replaced with happiness.

Our lives have suddenly changed. The reality is that money was tight before so this doesn't change much. With getting paid what I did then giving it away to daycare for Cooper and after school care for Cole, it really didn't leave us with much of anything left over. Now trim my paycheck WAY back to what unemployment offers, but cut out both child care payments and we have ourselves an interesting balancing act. 

There have been many Sundays where I have sat in Church and longed to have a more fulfilling existence. My days consisted of chipping away at a job that was unsteady and unrewarding all while passing off my children for others to raise. Now I get to step into the shoes of the woman I believe I was really meant to be. Being a working mom can be rewarding for the ego but not for the soul. The job I now hold, full time mommy, makes me feel human for the first time in a long time. It allows me to be what God naturally intended for me to be. At some point I will return to work, but until then I am sincerely grateful for this gift.

Kindergarten

Today is certainly a milestone to post about. Cole started Kindergarten today and he was more than excited. He literally came running out of his room this morning after waking up. He has carried a big toothy smile on his face for the past couple of days and our conversations have been sprinkled with new friends, backpacks, lunch time and other Kindergarten expectations.

Cole rushed through his morning routine, which consists of picking an outfit out (a UofM shirt and shorts), eating his Lucky Charms, brushing his teeth, combing his hair and putting on his shoes. Today he also double checked what we packed him for lunch and we made sure he could open up the zip lock bags easily (adorable).

He actually waited for us to finish getting ready while continuously singing out "Are we ready yet? Are we ready yet?" Mommy finished her makeup, we strapped Cooper to Daddy's tummy and set out.

The school is a rock's throw from our house so walking there this morning was already very familiar. We took photos of Cole in front of the school, and again his smile was ear to ear. We navigated our way past the library and the "big boys and girls" classrooms until we found Mrs. Joseph's room. Cole signed in his name, put his lunch in the "lunch basket", found his seat and began coloring the picture of a tree that was set out for all the little ones to color. The room got crowded quickly with all the children finding their places and their mommies and daddies right behind them.

Cole stopped coloring and looked up at us to say "You can go now." I replied "Are you sure? It looks like all the other parents are staying." He assured me is was fine and continued turning the blank foliage on the page green with his crayon. Jimmy and I looked at one another feeling a little deflated and proud at the same time. I gave Cole a kiss and when Daddy tried to get a high five Cole responded that he was "too busy." He is certainly a big boy.

We returned home and when I walked into the living room and saw his Transformer and superhero toys on the floor I began to cry. Jimmy smiled and comforted me. I'm his Mommy what can one expect? They were not necessarily tears of sadness but more of realization. The truth is that I am very happy for Cole. He is such an inquisitive boy and the knowledge school will offer him should be quite satisfying.

As I tended to little Cooper at home I could hear the little boys and girls on the playground at the school. It made me smile wondering if one of those squeals of joy was my little boy.

Books and Art

Today was such an amazing day. It started off rocky as it took us forever to get out of the house! This is my dilemma as a new mother of two. Cole has a tendency to dilly dally and not get ready when he is asked, but when I mentioned we were going to the book store he kicked it in gear. The issue is my inability to get ready with Cooper. If Cooper is awake it is hard to just put him down. Usually if he has a full tummy he is content where ever for a period of time, but generally little mister prefers to be held. However, holding baby while trying to get ready is impossible. Long story short it took us two hours to start our adventure.

We first went to Borders downtown. Cole LOVES going to the bookstore. He pulls four or five books out at a time, spreads them on the floor and plops down immersing himself in superheroes and Thomas the Train. I grabbed a couple of art magazines and a coffee letting Cole enjoy himself. We always let Cole pick out one book so after choosing an Iron Man story we headed outside into the summer sun.

We decided to go for a walk. We crossed the busy street into a grassy area. I suggested we sit down in the grass and we could read Cole's new book. Cole isn't crazy about bugs and I could see him eyeing all the critters coming in close proximity. I told him we should appreciate this time because I didn't know when we would have this moment again. It was the truth. This time with my two sons is so special to me and it is flying by. I realize I will never be able to take a summer off and be with both of them again. Mommy needs to work and the reality of it is actually rather sad. I think about how much time is lost because we need to work. As parents we essentially give our children to strangers to stand in for us while we provide. Cooper eats non-stop and I cherish ever feeding and every poopy diaper I change. It seriously brings tears to my eyes that those daily duties will not be mine very soon.

I mentioned this to Cole (in much less detail) and when I asked him if he wanted to go home yet he said "No, lets stay here a little longer." He made me smile. I would have normally ended our journey and set home for "rest time" before completing the day. Instead I asked Cole "What else do you want to do?" We agreed to venture over to the art museum. We rode the elevator stopping at each level to take in ancient artifacts and contemporary paintings. Eventually we did go home to have a rest.

Today was one of those days this blog was made for. I am so grateful for memories like today and sometimes I wish time would just move a little slower because I am in no rush for them to end.