Summer Time!

It has been so long since I've written!  Lets see... a few new developments include warm weather, fitness, scooting and new friends! The weather has warmed up (as I write this it is raining outside). I still fluxuates quite bit. I am happy to report, however, that we rarely see the temperature falling less than 60 degrees. Michigan is consistently inconsistent, but I don't mind. Despite lots of rain, we have had some really nice days. We have ventured outdoors for walks, parks and bike rides. Coop went on his first bike ride last night. He really enjoyed the scenery :) I also love dressing my little boys. It is fun to see Cole in his "cool" camo shorts and comfy tees as Coop get to go barefoot.

With warm weather comes summer meaning Coop's one year birthday will be here soon! I set a goal to reach my pre-preganancy weight within a year. Pregnancy is hard on the body for obvious reasons, but shedding baby weight is a long process that requires patience and persistence. I am almost there but have really up-ed my healthy conscious eating and fitness level, which is something I hope to maintain even after this Coop weight is gone.

Coopie is mobile! He was struggling with the concept of crawling. He is so funny as he gets on all fours and rocks back in forth then whines in frustration as nothing happens. He has found a way around being on all fours. He has discovered scooting! He uses his whole body to inch forward and has gotten really good at it! He's happy so we're happy. I have noticed that my nervousness for a mobile baby is less this time around. I feel much more secure and less worried about the "what ifs". I will see if that changes once he starts walking. :)

We have also started a new small group with some Church friends. Every other Sunday we get together and discuss Jesus and Christianity which is wonderful. The best thing about this new gathering is that there are other kids too. All the kids play and the adults grow closer to God and one another. I am so grateful that God has brought our friends and their children into our lives. It is amazing how much fuller life can be if we share it others. 

Until next time!

Circling Back Around

I feel like we are in a space ship and we have been out of contact with Houston as we circled around the moon. Well, now we have made our complete circle and communication can commence. The last few months have been eye opening. Cole is doing great in Kindergarten. He has made some great friends and is learning so many things. He is counting by tens, he learned about Dr. Martin Luther King and is learning to measure. Coopy loves his daycare and all the teachers love him too. One look at Coop and he flashes you that smile making you feel like you are the only one in the whole world. He is the sweetest, happiest baby.

After finding a job I thought was the answer to so many problems, it didn't work out. I feel as if this last year has been quite a journey for us. After having Cooper and being home with my kids, then going to work at a job that was not fulfilling, my priorities began to shift. I have realized the value in true happiness. There will never be enough money that could fill a hole in a heart. The human heart is meant to love and take care of one another. I want these values present in my every day life. I want to be part of the solution, whatever that is. Many things I thought I knew and I thought I wanted in life have been disproved. The only thing I know for a fact is that I love my family and I want to be a good person. God can fill in the rest.

The Ailment Month

The month of October was certainly memorable. Lets start with the good news. I started my job and got right to work. Pall Corporation is a global company and certainly does not stop, not even slows, for my arrival. Everyone is busy at their job so I have just sort of dove in and determined what needed to be done. I have come to understand that when you reach a point in your career with enough experience, you are hired because your joining should be seamless. So that is where I have found myself. I certainly appreciate the confidence, now I just need to make sure I have some in myself. I am constantly doubting myself for fear that I will be laid off again. This anxiety is easing up as I find my footing.

Okay now for the real chaos. The weekend before I start my new job Jimmy breaks his collarbone. This throws a real wrench in our daily life since Jimmy rides his bike and we only have one car. Once again my parents swooped in to the rescue and lent us their car. To make matters worse, when Jimmy followed up with the Orthopedic Doctor he learned he would have to have surgery. His collarbone needed a metal plate inserted to connect the two ends so they could heal.

On the Friday of my first week at work Jimmy went into surgery. All went well and my dad waited at the hospital in my place. He had to stay over night to manage the pain so with Cole out at my parents for the night, Cooper and I set off to visit him. Cooper was being very fussy, much fussier than usual. He was inconsolable actually. The stress of a new job, a husband's surgery and an inconsolable baby really wore on me.

When I woke up in the middle of the night to feed Cooper I noticed he was warm. I took his temperature and it read 102.2. After a call into the doctor we were on our way back up to the hospital. With Cooper only being three months old, it is mandatory that he receive an IV in the ER. The nurses starting poking him over and over, unable to find a tiny little vein. It was heartbreaking. They looked every where for the source of the fever. Unable to get an IV, they had to take blood where they could including scooping up drops from his heel. With all the lousy blood samples the results kept coming back problematic so they kept taking more blood. A doctor came and told me they might have to do a spinal tap on Cooper and my heart sank. Eventually a pediatric doctor came down in the morning (we were there for seven hours) looked in Cooper's ears and said "There it is." Really? All that for an ear infection? We were just grateful to go home. Both Jimmy and Cooper were discharged at the same time. My poor mother stood by my side the whole time.

Cooper and I were exhausted so we went home and slept and slept. Early the next morning we received a call from the hospital asking us to come BACK to the hospital as some of the blood results were again coming up problematic. We went back to the ER. The pediatric nurses finally were able to get an IV in poor Cooper and they drew blood correctly. We were sent home with the IV still in place just in case more blood was to be drawn. The following day all results came back clear. After the amount of antibiotics they had pumped into Cooper, he didn't even need a prescription of antibiotics. The poor little guy even had blood in his stool the following day from all the medicine.

At the end of the two visits Cooper had been poked 10 different times, had a catheter inserted twice to collect urine, had an x-ray, threats of a spinal tap - all for a lousy ear infection. Next time I will think twice before taking him directly to the ER. I will try everything possible to wait until the doctor's office is open.

Other than that we had a fun Halloween and an ailment-free rest of the month. I only pray that we do not see the hospital again for a long time, because between Coop's birth, Jimmy's collarbone and the ER visits I have had enough - and so has our bank account!

Back to Work

It is bittersweet that I post today how I will be returning to work on Monday. We have really had to let go and let God this past month. I thought I had planned my pregnancy and maternity leave so well. I had the funds lined up, short term disability worked out, camps scheduled to keep Cole busy and all was to end on September 20th. Well, September 10th I lost my job. So what then? Inside I had struggled with the thought of leaving Cooper. He was eight weeks old when I was to return to work and I just couldn't bear it. He was so small and dependent on me. I cried more and more as the 20th approached. So when I was laid off on the 10th I found myself relieved and scared. I knew we were going to have a hard time paying our bills but at that moment nothing meant more to me than to be with my baby.

This past Monday I was offered an opportunity that not only put an end to our fear but will put us in an even better spot in life than we were before. I could never have planned for this. Even with all my arrangements, God had something much better in mind for us. He really shifted around our life. I imagine He had a big smile on His face as He knew how much happier we would all be when it was said and done. In the few extra weeks I was allowed to stay home with Cooper, I got to see him really develop into a little boy. He now smiles and coos as his personality has surfaced. I know he still needs me, but this maturity has made me much more comfortable with the idea of leaving him. I feel so blessed that God gave me this additional time with my children and I am so grateful for this new job opportunity. I love that I am able to provide for my boys and give them the life that my parents gave me.

I would also like to mention how this time of unknown really showed us how much we are loved. My parents have always been there for us, but without hesitation they were there with food and cash to help us. My mom even mentioned how she was prepared for us to move in with them. Oh how crazy that would have been. Four adults, Two children, three dogs and two cats. My goodness! Luckily we were never faced with that dilemma. However, it means the world to me that even when I am grown with a family of my own, I can always go "home" into loving arms. In addition to my parents, our friends also sent prayers our way and offered support. We have really learned that with friends and family in our lives we could never go poor... never.

Ready. Set. Go!

Now that I am a full time mom, I have found that life is just as busy. I find myself multitasking much more now than when I was working. The trickiest thing I have discovered is I am constantly in a race to get things done. My day consists of taking care of Cooper first and foremost, but also cleaning, cooking, furthering my education through online tutorials and freelance work. However, with the list of tasks I would like to get done, I only have small bursts of time to complete them as it is all coordinated with Cooper's nap schedule.

Cooper does not nap a great deal and when he does it is generally for short periods of time. He does take one longer nap during the day and that is my only opportunity to fit everything in that I need to get done. As soon as the little guy closes his eyes I am off like a track runner in the 100 meter dash. So although I am home, I still have little or no free time.

Jimmy got a taste of my average day yesterday. I asked him to help me with Cooper so I could cook us dinner. I could see his stress level rise as he realized how demanding it really is. Cooper is a materialized lesson in slowing down. He reminds me of what is really important. He literally screams until I get it through my thick skull that nothing is more important. Not a clean house, a prepared meal or a new method in e-mail marketing should take priority. The single most important thing should be time with him and being a mommy. When I find myself scrambling I just pick him up and look at that little face. I realize how short and precious this time is with him. This reality makes me squeeze him tight and drop everything else.

Life's Curve Balls

With the purpose of this blog to document all our significant moments, I imagine there had to be some glum ones too. Friday, September 10th, I went into work to let everyone meet Cooper and touch base before I returned on the 20th. I quickly learned that I had lost my job. The company has been financially hurting since the beginning of the recession. Their main function is retail, and with people losing their jobs and struggling to feed themselves, gifts are last or nonexistent on the family budget. My employers had tried everything, but it looks like they might not make it. 

My initial reaction was pure fear. How was I going to take care of my family and provide? Would we lose our house? All the traditional "what ifs" trampled through my mind, numbing out the positives, leaving me with the worst. I had brought Cooper with me and as the tears flowed I looked down and caught him smiling in his sleep. I suddenly realized what really mattered.

Throughout my Maternity Leave I had been asking God to provide me with a way to stay home with my son. I investigated ways in which I could possibly leave my job and be home, or even work part time. I had surrendered to the idea that I was just going to have to go back and I needed to suck it up. After getting laid off it occurred to me that this was God answering my prayer. My fear was instantly replaced with happiness.

Our lives have suddenly changed. The reality is that money was tight before so this doesn't change much. With getting paid what I did then giving it away to daycare for Cooper and after school care for Cole, it really didn't leave us with much of anything left over. Now trim my paycheck WAY back to what unemployment offers, but cut out both child care payments and we have ourselves an interesting balancing act. 

There have been many Sundays where I have sat in Church and longed to have a more fulfilling existence. My days consisted of chipping away at a job that was unsteady and unrewarding all while passing off my children for others to raise. Now I get to step into the shoes of the woman I believe I was really meant to be. Being a working mom can be rewarding for the ego but not for the soul. The job I now hold, full time mommy, makes me feel human for the first time in a long time. It allows me to be what God naturally intended for me to be. At some point I will return to work, but until then I am sincerely grateful for this gift.

Kindergarten

Today is certainly a milestone to post about. Cole started Kindergarten today and he was more than excited. He literally came running out of his room this morning after waking up. He has carried a big toothy smile on his face for the past couple of days and our conversations have been sprinkled with new friends, backpacks, lunch time and other Kindergarten expectations.

Cole rushed through his morning routine, which consists of picking an outfit out (a UofM shirt and shorts), eating his Lucky Charms, brushing his teeth, combing his hair and putting on his shoes. Today he also double checked what we packed him for lunch and we made sure he could open up the zip lock bags easily (adorable).

He actually waited for us to finish getting ready while continuously singing out "Are we ready yet? Are we ready yet?" Mommy finished her makeup, we strapped Cooper to Daddy's tummy and set out.

The school is a rock's throw from our house so walking there this morning was already very familiar. We took photos of Cole in front of the school, and again his smile was ear to ear. We navigated our way past the library and the "big boys and girls" classrooms until we found Mrs. Joseph's room. Cole signed in his name, put his lunch in the "lunch basket", found his seat and began coloring the picture of a tree that was set out for all the little ones to color. The room got crowded quickly with all the children finding their places and their mommies and daddies right behind them.

Cole stopped coloring and looked up at us to say "You can go now." I replied "Are you sure? It looks like all the other parents are staying." He assured me is was fine and continued turning the blank foliage on the page green with his crayon. Jimmy and I looked at one another feeling a little deflated and proud at the same time. I gave Cole a kiss and when Daddy tried to get a high five Cole responded that he was "too busy." He is certainly a big boy.

We returned home and when I walked into the living room and saw his Transformer and superhero toys on the floor I began to cry. Jimmy smiled and comforted me. I'm his Mommy what can one expect? They were not necessarily tears of sadness but more of realization. The truth is that I am very happy for Cole. He is such an inquisitive boy and the knowledge school will offer him should be quite satisfying.

As I tended to little Cooper at home I could hear the little boys and girls on the playground at the school. It made me smile wondering if one of those squeals of joy was my little boy.