The Ailment Month

The month of October was certainly memorable. Lets start with the good news. I started my job and got right to work. Pall Corporation is a global company and certainly does not stop, not even slows, for my arrival. Everyone is busy at their job so I have just sort of dove in and determined what needed to be done. I have come to understand that when you reach a point in your career with enough experience, you are hired because your joining should be seamless. So that is where I have found myself. I certainly appreciate the confidence, now I just need to make sure I have some in myself. I am constantly doubting myself for fear that I will be laid off again. This anxiety is easing up as I find my footing.

Okay now for the real chaos. The weekend before I start my new job Jimmy breaks his collarbone. This throws a real wrench in our daily life since Jimmy rides his bike and we only have one car. Once again my parents swooped in to the rescue and lent us their car. To make matters worse, when Jimmy followed up with the Orthopedic Doctor he learned he would have to have surgery. His collarbone needed a metal plate inserted to connect the two ends so they could heal.

On the Friday of my first week at work Jimmy went into surgery. All went well and my dad waited at the hospital in my place. He had to stay over night to manage the pain so with Cole out at my parents for the night, Cooper and I set off to visit him. Cooper was being very fussy, much fussier than usual. He was inconsolable actually. The stress of a new job, a husband's surgery and an inconsolable baby really wore on me.

When I woke up in the middle of the night to feed Cooper I noticed he was warm. I took his temperature and it read 102.2. After a call into the doctor we were on our way back up to the hospital. With Cooper only being three months old, it is mandatory that he receive an IV in the ER. The nurses starting poking him over and over, unable to find a tiny little vein. It was heartbreaking. They looked every where for the source of the fever. Unable to get an IV, they had to take blood where they could including scooping up drops from his heel. With all the lousy blood samples the results kept coming back problematic so they kept taking more blood. A doctor came and told me they might have to do a spinal tap on Cooper and my heart sank. Eventually a pediatric doctor came down in the morning (we were there for seven hours) looked in Cooper's ears and said "There it is." Really? All that for an ear infection? We were just grateful to go home. Both Jimmy and Cooper were discharged at the same time. My poor mother stood by my side the whole time.

Cooper and I were exhausted so we went home and slept and slept. Early the next morning we received a call from the hospital asking us to come BACK to the hospital as some of the blood results were again coming up problematic. We went back to the ER. The pediatric nurses finally were able to get an IV in poor Cooper and they drew blood correctly. We were sent home with the IV still in place just in case more blood was to be drawn. The following day all results came back clear. After the amount of antibiotics they had pumped into Cooper, he didn't even need a prescription of antibiotics. The poor little guy even had blood in his stool the following day from all the medicine.

At the end of the two visits Cooper had been poked 10 different times, had a catheter inserted twice to collect urine, had an x-ray, threats of a spinal tap - all for a lousy ear infection. Next time I will think twice before taking him directly to the ER. I will try everything possible to wait until the doctor's office is open.

Other than that we had a fun Halloween and an ailment-free rest of the month. I only pray that we do not see the hospital again for a long time, because between Coop's birth, Jimmy's collarbone and the ER visits I have had enough - and so has our bank account!

Back to Work

It is bittersweet that I post today how I will be returning to work on Monday. We have really had to let go and let God this past month. I thought I had planned my pregnancy and maternity leave so well. I had the funds lined up, short term disability worked out, camps scheduled to keep Cole busy and all was to end on September 20th. Well, September 10th I lost my job. So what then? Inside I had struggled with the thought of leaving Cooper. He was eight weeks old when I was to return to work and I just couldn't bear it. He was so small and dependent on me. I cried more and more as the 20th approached. So when I was laid off on the 10th I found myself relieved and scared. I knew we were going to have a hard time paying our bills but at that moment nothing meant more to me than to be with my baby.

This past Monday I was offered an opportunity that not only put an end to our fear but will put us in an even better spot in life than we were before. I could never have planned for this. Even with all my arrangements, God had something much better in mind for us. He really shifted around our life. I imagine He had a big smile on His face as He knew how much happier we would all be when it was said and done. In the few extra weeks I was allowed to stay home with Cooper, I got to see him really develop into a little boy. He now smiles and coos as his personality has surfaced. I know he still needs me, but this maturity has made me much more comfortable with the idea of leaving him. I feel so blessed that God gave me this additional time with my children and I am so grateful for this new job opportunity. I love that I am able to provide for my boys and give them the life that my parents gave me.

I would also like to mention how this time of unknown really showed us how much we are loved. My parents have always been there for us, but without hesitation they were there with food and cash to help us. My mom even mentioned how she was prepared for us to move in with them. Oh how crazy that would have been. Four adults, Two children, three dogs and two cats. My goodness! Luckily we were never faced with that dilemma. However, it means the world to me that even when I am grown with a family of my own, I can always go "home" into loving arms. In addition to my parents, our friends also sent prayers our way and offered support. We have really learned that with friends and family in our lives we could never go poor... never.

Ready. Set. Go!

Now that I am a full time mom, I have found that life is just as busy. I find myself multitasking much more now than when I was working. The trickiest thing I have discovered is I am constantly in a race to get things done. My day consists of taking care of Cooper first and foremost, but also cleaning, cooking, furthering my education through online tutorials and freelance work. However, with the list of tasks I would like to get done, I only have small bursts of time to complete them as it is all coordinated with Cooper's nap schedule.

Cooper does not nap a great deal and when he does it is generally for short periods of time. He does take one longer nap during the day and that is my only opportunity to fit everything in that I need to get done. As soon as the little guy closes his eyes I am off like a track runner in the 100 meter dash. So although I am home, I still have little or no free time.

Jimmy got a taste of my average day yesterday. I asked him to help me with Cooper so I could cook us dinner. I could see his stress level rise as he realized how demanding it really is. Cooper is a materialized lesson in slowing down. He reminds me of what is really important. He literally screams until I get it through my thick skull that nothing is more important. Not a clean house, a prepared meal or a new method in e-mail marketing should take priority. The single most important thing should be time with him and being a mommy. When I find myself scrambling I just pick him up and look at that little face. I realize how short and precious this time is with him. This reality makes me squeeze him tight and drop everything else.

Life's Curve Balls

With the purpose of this blog to document all our significant moments, I imagine there had to be some glum ones too. Friday, September 10th, I went into work to let everyone meet Cooper and touch base before I returned on the 20th. I quickly learned that I had lost my job. The company has been financially hurting since the beginning of the recession. Their main function is retail, and with people losing their jobs and struggling to feed themselves, gifts are last or nonexistent on the family budget. My employers had tried everything, but it looks like they might not make it. 

My initial reaction was pure fear. How was I going to take care of my family and provide? Would we lose our house? All the traditional "what ifs" trampled through my mind, numbing out the positives, leaving me with the worst. I had brought Cooper with me and as the tears flowed I looked down and caught him smiling in his sleep. I suddenly realized what really mattered.

Throughout my Maternity Leave I had been asking God to provide me with a way to stay home with my son. I investigated ways in which I could possibly leave my job and be home, or even work part time. I had surrendered to the idea that I was just going to have to go back and I needed to suck it up. After getting laid off it occurred to me that this was God answering my prayer. My fear was instantly replaced with happiness.

Our lives have suddenly changed. The reality is that money was tight before so this doesn't change much. With getting paid what I did then giving it away to daycare for Cooper and after school care for Cole, it really didn't leave us with much of anything left over. Now trim my paycheck WAY back to what unemployment offers, but cut out both child care payments and we have ourselves an interesting balancing act. 

There have been many Sundays where I have sat in Church and longed to have a more fulfilling existence. My days consisted of chipping away at a job that was unsteady and unrewarding all while passing off my children for others to raise. Now I get to step into the shoes of the woman I believe I was really meant to be. Being a working mom can be rewarding for the ego but not for the soul. The job I now hold, full time mommy, makes me feel human for the first time in a long time. It allows me to be what God naturally intended for me to be. At some point I will return to work, but until then I am sincerely grateful for this gift.

Kindergarten

Today is certainly a milestone to post about. Cole started Kindergarten today and he was more than excited. He literally came running out of his room this morning after waking up. He has carried a big toothy smile on his face for the past couple of days and our conversations have been sprinkled with new friends, backpacks, lunch time and other Kindergarten expectations.

Cole rushed through his morning routine, which consists of picking an outfit out (a UofM shirt and shorts), eating his Lucky Charms, brushing his teeth, combing his hair and putting on his shoes. Today he also double checked what we packed him for lunch and we made sure he could open up the zip lock bags easily (adorable).

He actually waited for us to finish getting ready while continuously singing out "Are we ready yet? Are we ready yet?" Mommy finished her makeup, we strapped Cooper to Daddy's tummy and set out.

The school is a rock's throw from our house so walking there this morning was already very familiar. We took photos of Cole in front of the school, and again his smile was ear to ear. We navigated our way past the library and the "big boys and girls" classrooms until we found Mrs. Joseph's room. Cole signed in his name, put his lunch in the "lunch basket", found his seat and began coloring the picture of a tree that was set out for all the little ones to color. The room got crowded quickly with all the children finding their places and their mommies and daddies right behind them.

Cole stopped coloring and looked up at us to say "You can go now." I replied "Are you sure? It looks like all the other parents are staying." He assured me is was fine and continued turning the blank foliage on the page green with his crayon. Jimmy and I looked at one another feeling a little deflated and proud at the same time. I gave Cole a kiss and when Daddy tried to get a high five Cole responded that he was "too busy." He is certainly a big boy.

We returned home and when I walked into the living room and saw his Transformer and superhero toys on the floor I began to cry. Jimmy smiled and comforted me. I'm his Mommy what can one expect? They were not necessarily tears of sadness but more of realization. The truth is that I am very happy for Cole. He is such an inquisitive boy and the knowledge school will offer him should be quite satisfying.

As I tended to little Cooper at home I could hear the little boys and girls on the playground at the school. It made me smile wondering if one of those squeals of joy was my little boy.

Books and Art

Today was such an amazing day. It started off rocky as it took us forever to get out of the house! This is my dilemma as a new mother of two. Cole has a tendency to dilly dally and not get ready when he is asked, but when I mentioned we were going to the book store he kicked it in gear. The issue is my inability to get ready with Cooper. If Cooper is awake it is hard to just put him down. Usually if he has a full tummy he is content where ever for a period of time, but generally little mister prefers to be held. However, holding baby while trying to get ready is impossible. Long story short it took us two hours to start our adventure.

We first went to Borders downtown. Cole LOVES going to the bookstore. He pulls four or five books out at a time, spreads them on the floor and plops down immersing himself in superheroes and Thomas the Train. I grabbed a couple of art magazines and a coffee letting Cole enjoy himself. We always let Cole pick out one book so after choosing an Iron Man story we headed outside into the summer sun.

We decided to go for a walk. We crossed the busy street into a grassy area. I suggested we sit down in the grass and we could read Cole's new book. Cole isn't crazy about bugs and I could see him eyeing all the critters coming in close proximity. I told him we should appreciate this time because I didn't know when we would have this moment again. It was the truth. This time with my two sons is so special to me and it is flying by. I realize I will never be able to take a summer off and be with both of them again. Mommy needs to work and the reality of it is actually rather sad. I think about how much time is lost because we need to work. As parents we essentially give our children to strangers to stand in for us while we provide. Cooper eats non-stop and I cherish ever feeding and every poopy diaper I change. It seriously brings tears to my eyes that those daily duties will not be mine very soon.

I mentioned this to Cole (in much less detail) and when I asked him if he wanted to go home yet he said "No, lets stay here a little longer." He made me smile. I would have normally ended our journey and set home for "rest time" before completing the day. Instead I asked Cole "What else do you want to do?" We agreed to venture over to the art museum. We rode the elevator stopping at each level to take in ancient artifacts and contemporary paintings. Eventually we did go home to have a rest.

Today was one of those days this blog was made for. I am so grateful for memories like today and sometimes I wish time would just move a little slower because I am in no rush for them to end.

Lets Begin

I have been meaning to do this for a while. However, I recently had our second son and my hands have literally been tied up. I will most likely be typing some of these posts one-handed.

I was inspired to start this blog due to my lovely sister-in-law. She created a blog for her son, which can be viewed here. I thought it was such a modern and relevant way to capture the moments of her son. I started realizing this is a very common way today's moms are recordig their children's lives. This feature from Parenting Magazine highlights some of these moms.

So where to begin? I am a mother of two boys. Cole, who will be five next month, and Cooper who is only five weeks old. My boys have shown me the value in the everyday. Through their milestones I am inspired and rejuvenated. The two have completely different developments of course. It is refreshing to teach one how to read and write while simply working on the sense of sight with the other. 

Having my two sons was a strategy. I always knew I wanted another child after Cole, but we were going to have to wait. Daycare is so expensive and there is no way we could afford two children in a center, even with a sibling discount. With not a moment to waste, I am holding our newborn while Cole starts Kindergarten in two weeks.

Five years is quite a gap for the two boys and adjusting to having two children has not come naturally. With the two so far apart in age, Cole wants me to move while Cooper demands me stationary. We are getting the hang of it and with Cooper being just old enough to go out in public, life is getting even easier. I love being home, but I have been acquiring a bit of cabin fever recently. Not to mention I had both boys via cesearian and recovering from surgery makes one slighlty immobile as well.

With us all on the move now these posts should be fun. Today we begin our journey of documentation. Until next time!